Die Hard 5: A Good Day to Die Hard (2013)
Dir: John Moore
Die Hard takes a Walk
by
Jay Maronde
by
Jay Maronde
Die Hard 5: A Good Day to Die Hard is a movie that
takes a walk, and I don’t mean that because for the first time John McClane leaves
America for his adventure—I mean it in the context of the pitcher who beans the
batter and says, “take your base.” Very sadly, this movie is atrocious (like
worse than all the bad reviews of the previous four installments combined).
Don’t get me wrong, I love DIE HARD, John McClane, and action movies, and by
all means there are a ton of outstanding action sequences, but otherwise this
movie is complete and utter capitalistic Hollywood garbage. The longer you
watch this movie, the more it becomes apparent that the producers were pulling
out all the stops for the action scenes, and if they had put 1/10 of the time,
energy, and money into producing a movie that contained something of a plot and slightly better writing, this review would
read very differently. But as it stands
this is trash, remarkable trash.
Let’s
start with Bruce. He’s awesome and more “die hardish” than ever. But he’s working
with nothing for a script. Every single
thing he does is the obvious silly Hollywood plot choice. And sadly, much like
an older Roger Moore playing James Bond, his age does detract from the movie.
Also, instead of this movie being a buddy film, it’s more of a father/son team
up. Which brings us to the new star of the Die Hard series: Jai Courtney
playing John “Jack” McClane, Jr. Personally I don’t feel as though Courtney was
that poor of a casting choice, but he’s
certainly not even half as good as Shia LaBeouf as Indiana Jones’ son. Further,
his role in the film (which I won’t give away) is completely ridiculous: it’s
merely a way to put Willis in Russia. Also while on the topic of actors I would
like to acknowledge Mary Elizabeth Winsted reprising her wonderful performance
from DH4 as Lucy McClane (John’s daughter and Jack’s sister). Miss Winsted was outstanding and was more than
decent in her cameo performance in this film.
However, she looks so much different from the last film that I honestly
had no idea it was her until the credits rolled and spent a big part of the
experience troubled by this. The rest of the actors are decent character actors
playing stereotypical Russian gangsters and again they seem to be doing as much
as they can with the poor-to-bad script that they are working with.
Not to let the director off the
hook: at no point during this entire film do you feel like Moore had any creative
control or self-expression. To be
honest, a decently well programmed robot could have probably churned out more
original garbage.
I’m so
sad to have to give the latest installment in one of my favorite series a poor
review, but on the brighter side of things the movie made more than 3 times its
budget from ticket revenues, so for a film which was intentionally just
Hollywood capitalistic trash, I suppose it achieved its goals remarkably well.