The Bond Project Wrap-Up
by Jay Maronde
Well
Dearest readers, as we’ve come to the end of a very long road, I would
personally like to offer my extreme thanks to the entire Broccoli Family and the EON productions team, and also to the original spymaster himself Ian Fleming,
for without this cadre of genii none of
this could have ever been possible. I, however, would most of all like to thank
my fantastic editor Mr. Jack Knorps because again without his tremendous
encouragement and editing none of this could also be possible. Now having considered all this, my tremendous,
gracious, and wonderfully understanding editor Mr. Knorps has asked me to write
this wrap up. To wit: how could I refuse such a wonderfully respectful request
from such a dear friend?
Now, I
initially thought that this wrap up would be much easier as we had earlier discussed a formal interview sort of context. During the course of our
interviews it quickly became apparent that the big question most of all would
be a ranking, a full and complete ranking of all the films. This is
extremely difficult for me, like asking a parent to choose their favorite out
of 23 children, and then rank the rest,
so there was simply no way I could complete this task just off the top of my head. I assured my dear editor that I would sleep on this scenario and do my best
to rank them.
I also want to note that my initial idea for this article was
more of a “best of” type compilation, so please continue to read even after you
reach the final end of the ranking because I think some of my favorite gems may
come later on, but without further ado…
If you read my reviews it
was probably most apparent that this was my favorite. Director Marc Forster set
out with a very specific goal of making a tight, hard-hitting action film that
was “like a bullet.” Forster’s vision for this shorter, hard-hitting Bond is
perfect for what is the only direct sequel in the entire franchise. Further, his
allusions to other great films (including the demise of the lovely Strawberry
Fields) comprise some of the finest filmmaking in the entire Canon. (Less charitable review here)
#2 Skyfall
Bond 23, the movie whose
formerly impending release inspired this entire series of reviews, was more than
worth the wait. The actors are fabulous. Dench and Bardem are the biggest snubs of this season’s awards shows' nominations. If
the film were only slightly shorter I would have probably made it #1--it's really a
personal preference (and a strong one) that I feel all films should be short so
as to force the director to really tell his story concisely. But Skyfall is
nonetheless amazing, I saw it in the theaters numerous times, and I will
probably wait in line to purchase the Blu-Ray on release day. It was the first Bond
to be filmed in large format, and if you still have the chance I would highly
suggest viewing it in IMAX as it’s totally worth the extra cost. Bond simply
cannot ever be big enough, and Skyfall Is a huge film that such an epic Canon
deserves. (Slightly less charitable review here)
I know,
I know, I know, “How could I put all three Daniel Craig Bonds right at the top
of the list?” No, I'm not just obsessed with the newest things. Daniel Craig’s portrayal of Bond is beyond
reproach! He is fantastic, and in this film during a discussion with M, Bond
asks, “So you want me to be half monk, half hitman?” For me this statement is at the crux of why Daniel Craig
is so fantastic in this role: he’s so fucking cold I want to offer him a cup of
tea. Like geez--warm up a just little bit! He's so cold and so perfect that it makes you ask
yourself: what you would be like if you killed people every day for your job? I
feel like Craig asks himself this question every morning before filming Bond.
This film could have easily been number one on the list except for the fact
that if you are to watch it without watching Quantum immediately afterwards you
are left feeling almost a little empty inside. (Equally charitable review here)
# 4 Goldfinger
The man
with the Midas touch! This could easily be Sean Connery’s finest Bond. It’s the
first time we see the DB5. It has Oddjob and Pussy Galore. It has Jill
Masterson covered in gold in a scene which was so iconic that it’s been
referenced by other films in the series. The Shirley Bassey theme is delightful
and unforgettable, and I think what
really makes me choose this of all the Connery Bonds is that he seems so
comfortable in the role, he’s smacking asses and really playing the role as a
classic cad, in way that all other Bond’s up till Daniel Craig have tried to
emulate.
Classic
early Bond. Watching this film you can easily realize why the franchise has
become so successful. Connery is young and lithe, and the scenery and sets are
fantastical in a way that the franchise is still seeking to emulate.
#6 Thunderball
The Tom Jones epic theme
song is outstanding--it's honestly the first thing that comes to my mind when I
think of this movie--but a close second is that this is the only Bond film ever
to be completely remade. The remake, NeverSay Never Again, could be the worst thing ever to happen to the James Bond
franchise and if I were forced to include that tripe in my evaluation it would
easily be the very last film on this list, as the essentially-bribed-Sean
Connery was sooooo old in the remake that the Health Clinic should have been a
convalescent's home*. The original film was very good though, and for the time the
special effects were beyond reproach: the underwater sequences are still a
blueprint for those making underwater films.
#7 Dr No
The
original Bond. Sean Connery & Ursula Andress. Nuff said.
This
could be the most under-appreciated Bond, and as such I wanted to rank it
highly. The movie suffers from one glaring flaw: it was the very end of the
Roger Moore era, and Moore is beyond geriatric. Not even all the best plastic
surgeons in the world could make him look any younger. That being said, Christopher Walken not only is fantastic but completely redeems all of the film's other flaws. He’s so perfect, and he's so evil in a way that
only Walken could be. Further, the sets and locations are remarkable and very
memorable.
#9 Moonraker
Again,
I hate to rank the Roger Moore Films so highly, but the fact that the producers
brought Jaws back, coupled with the outstanding scenery, sets and plot (Bond & Jaws save the world while in outerspace) really does it for me. Also many many people
I know always say Moonraker is their favorite, as it in some ways is one of the
more "approachable" Bonds.
The sets, scenery, and characters are exquisite. Plenty O’Toole
is a super classic Bond girl name. The reason I put it here is Connery was a
little bit past his prime and the “camp” value is a little too high for me.
I like
Connery, I really do, But the only notable parts of this film are Ken Adam’s
ridiculously amazing volcano set, and Bond’s Adventures one the mini chopper
“Little Nellie.” The Volcano makes up for a lot though, and without a doubt a
critical entry in the Canon.
Telly
Savalas is downright fantastic and easily the best of the Blofelds. Everyone
hates George Lazenby, but I personally think he's great as Bond: his
athleticism, youth, and enthusiasm shine through. The problematic and singular
reason why this very important film ranks so low on my list is Diana Rigg’s
distaste for Lazenby. It is so palpable throughout the whole film that it's almost
like someone wrote “I was promised Sean Connery” across her face.
#13 GoldenEye
Pierce
Brosnan’s first entry into the World of Bond was a fantastic restart for the
series. He was my initial Bond, and GoldenEye was the first Bond I ever saw.
The women of the film are utterly perfect in their roles, the plot was ahead of
its time as Republican presidential candidates were still discussing EMP’s
during this past election cycle. And while I don’t necessarily like Bond in a
BMW, the use of the Z3 is still considered the world’s most successful cross
promotion ever.
#14 Live and Let Die
Blaxploitation
Bond! Everyone loves Jane Seymour but me;
I just don’t feel as though she's dynamic enough to be a Bond Girl. However, as
much as I hate Moore I feel this movie is critically important to history as
it’s a very British take on the entire Blaxploitation genre and provides an
important historical perspective from an outside viewpoint.
#15 Octopussy
I
really liked this movie, and if Brosnan been able to take the role, it would have been much higher
on this list. Again, Moore’s aged-ness is completely distracting. Q has an
amazing role, and the India scenes are wonderful. And let’s be honest, Bond
diffuses a nuclear bomb in the middle of a circus while wearing a clown suit.
I like
this film, I even like Timmy Dalton (a great deal actually). I like the plot, I
like the girl (she always brings back very strong feelings of the epic Daniela
Bianchi in From Russia with Love), but unfortunately, the villains are like some sort of bad joke,
and not even all the great “sledding in a Stradivarius Cello case” scenes can
make up for villains that can barely even make you laugh.
I feel
like the initial Jaws film should have been a little higher on this list, but I
completely loathe the plot and the Bond girl. Roger Moore is hard pressed to
get any love from me.
#18 Licence to Kill
I wish
I could rank this movie higher on the list as Carey Lowell is easily one of my
favorite actresses ever, and the opening scene where Bond sky-hooks Sanchez’s
plane is epic to the point that Christopher Nolan borrowed it for his new
Batman trilogy. Benicio Del Toro alone makes the film worth watching, but the
concept of having Bond quit, (almost exclusively so Bond can pursue a villain
the British would have no jurisdiction
over) is too contrived for me.
I
really like this film also. I really wish I could put it higher on this list.
Brosnan makes it look way too easy, Denise Richards (while a gorgeous Bond
girl) is a horrible actress, and a villain who is not dead even with a bullet
in his brain, but is a complete sucker for love, is just too much for me to swallow.
#20 Die Another Day
AKA BUY
ANOTHER DAY. Everyone hates the Vanish, but I think for Bond to have an
invisible car is cool. My problems are essentially that we have already seen
the space laser plot, that there is too much early CG looking very bad, and the
rampant cross promotion really detracts from the film. I’m also told the Korean
being spoken is atrocious.
I hated this movie. I Loathe Roger Moore. I
don’t think that this film makes much sense at all.
You Only Live Twice part 2.
I hated
this film. A lot. I really, really, really, hate the way Roger Moore beats up
women to increase his macho factor in this movie. The only redemption is Hervé
Villechaize.
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*I have idea what Mr. Maronde is getting at by this statement but I felt the need to include it. -JK
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