The Spy Who Loved Me - Dir. Lewis Gilbert (The Bond Project #10)

The Spy Who Loved Me (1977)

Dir: Lewis Gilbert

Back on Track

By Jay Maronde

                Director Lewis Gilbert and Set Designer Ken Adams teamed back up again—and after extensive delays, seemed to re-work their “You Only Live Twice-magic” into the Blockbuster smash The Spy Who Loved Me—and saved the entire James Bond Franchise. This film is widely regarded as Roger Moore’s best Bond work (not necessarily by me), and he is more than adequate in this film in which James Bond’s ability to seduce women literally ends up saving his life while dealing with a Soviet spy. But the real star of this film is Ken Adams’ completely insane sets (which earned him on Oscar nomination) and the brilliance of Gilbert’s special effects team.

                First though, let’s start with the problems, which were once again legal, and once again caused by the Franchise’s early dealings with one Kevin McClory. Litigation is nothing new in Hollywood. People sue other people all the time—in fact, the producers had to buy at least one other litigant’s film treatment to avoid being sued by him—but Kevin McClory takes the all-time cake. From my research it seems as though McClory  sued the James Bond Franchise for almost 50 years. He even went to so far as to produce a non-authorized Bond in the 1980’s. I personally feel that he got his what for during the production of this film.

The Spy Who Loved Me was, and forever will be, the only Bond Film that occurred in the same order as the book from which it drew its title: the 10^th book became the 10^th film. Coincidentally, and partially because of McClory, the film draws almost nothing from the book besides the title and part of the inspiration for its uber-famous henchman: Jaws (played famously by Richard Kiel). TSWLM was supposed to be another film in which Ernst Stavro Blofeld and SPECTRE were the villains. McClory had already won the rights to Blofeld and SPECTRE in earlier litigation, so when he heard this new film would include Blofeld, he sued again.  The producers had his number this time and almost immediately rewrote the entire script to no longer include any mention of BLofeld or SPECTRE, and instead created a villain extremely similar to Blofeld, except named Stromberg. AHHH HAHAHAHAHAHA Kevin McClory had to learn the expensive way that he didn’t have the exclusive monopoly on fictional villains.  (Sorry, I just like it when Bond’s enemies get theirs).

                Anyways legal problems aside, Gilbert (who had actually been chosen after Steven Spielberg refused, having just completed Jaws and stating that he “wanted to see how these fish movies turn out”) began work on a Bond to really outperform the others, and in this effort went to some amazing extremes.

First off, over 1 million dollars of this production’s budget went directly towards the building of an all-new world’s-largest-ever-soundstage built at Pinewood Studios and named the 007 stage. The first job for this stage was the interior of Stromberg’s super-evil nuclear-submarine-swallowing super tanker The Liparus (the water tank inside the stage actually held more than one million gallons of water to enable this footage). The new stage was so incredibly large that a super-secret consultant was brought in to aid with the lighting: Stanley Kubrick. A Shell corporation executive and golfing buddy of Producer Albert Broccoli had volunteered a real Shell supertanker for the film, but the production team had been forced to pass as the insurance which would have been required would have been outrageously prohibitive.  The outside shots of the supertanker were filmed with an almost 70 foot long model.

Another favorite special effect is Bond’s white Lotus Espirit turbo coupe which converted to a submarine when driven into water. This car is easily one of my favorites throughout the series, because it is super cool, which is exactly why after the film’s release the waiting list for a new Lotus suddenly grew to over three years. Another aquatic effect in this film is Bond’s use of the world’s first jet ski. The “water motorcycle” (as it was at the time called) ridden by Bond during the latter part of the film as he assaults the evil villains lair, literally sprouted an entirely new watersport.

                Gilbert’s two other smashing successes with this film came from two shockingly different angles. First there was Jaws, cast perfectly with the actor Richard Kiel, who in real life is actually over 7 feet tall, and still works with the Bond Franchise doing Bond events and promotions. Jaws was immediately popular with Broccoli—so popular, in fact, that Broccoli had the script rewritten so that Jaws could live and escape and therefore possibly reappear in a later Bond adventure. Screener audiences loved Jaws so much that they gave the film a standing ovation when Jaws escaped. Over the years, Jaws has become one of the most recognizable and beloved Bond villains.

                Gilbert’s other success was even more important: he singlehandedly re-envisioned the entire humor of the franchise. Gone were the slapstick shtick and vaudevillian humor; gone were silly southern sheriffs and stunts corrupted by penny whistles. This new Bond was smooth as ice, and when he does make a joke it’s in an extremely pithy, very British, overly-sexualized-and-yet-not-quite-skeevy manner. My favorite Bond zinger comes at the very end of the film after Bond has escaped from the villain’s destroyed fortress in an escape pod with the lovely Soviet Agent XXX (played well, but not too memorably, by the very pretty Barbara Bach, who is actually currently married to none other than Ringo Starr). The two have escaped, and the girl is about to make good on her oath to kill Bond once the mission is over. Bond then seduces her in a scene which couldn’t have been more perfectly written for Roger Moore. As Moore handles Bond’s favorite business, the escape pod is recovered by the British and when M (again played by the classic Bernard Lee) asks Bond what he’s doing, Bond replies: “Keeping the British end up, sir!”

                This movie was wildly popular and easily made up for the lackluster financial performance of The Man with the Golden Gun. The theme song “Nobody Does it Better” went gold, even though it was the first Bond theme song not to be titled the same as the film, and has been covered by numerous artists over the years since it was first recorded by the ethereal Carly Simon. On a strange note: this film ends with the classic “James Bond will return…in For Your Eyes Only.” Moonraker would actually be the next Bond film to be produced as the management team would seek to capitalize off other space movies such as Star Wars and Close Encounters of the Third Kind, but also to parlay the audience’s love of the character Jaws by having him reappear in the successive film. It is of little concern though, as Gilbert had saved the longest running film franchise.  Were it not for his excellent direction of this film and re- direction of the entire series, one truly wonders if we would all so eagerly be awaiting next month’s Skyfall.

BELT - Disquietude

Before I officially begin this review, I would like to take a moment to note the difficulty inherent in critiquing a work of art that a friend has submitted to me for consideration.  I have only previously done this once, in January 2010, here http://flyinghouses.blogspot.com/2010/01/justyn-with-y-swansong.html.  This album received a positive review in spite of the fact that I generally do not like to listen to "folk" music.  The genre of that album was arguably "folk +" but I found it interesting, and I enjoyed the production: being recorded in a natural setting, the mostly quiet acoustic strumming gave the album a warm feel.

Now I move onto BELT.  BELT is the band of a friend of a friend--or I might say is the band of a friend.  I went to the singer's birthday party at his house.  That was fun.  However I do not think we would hang out but for my friend that invited me to that party.  Ironically, however, this singer was also part of another band previously referenced on Flying Houses here http://flyinghouses.blogspot.com/2010/07/wolf-parade-expo-86.html.  That band was Mercury Landing.  Wolf Parade has nothing to do with Mercury Landing but the song "Yulia" seemed to be related to that band for reasons (another side project of that band?) that I cannot recall.

Mercury Landing was a "funk" band.  Much like "folk," I do not care much for "funk."  However, I would go to shows (when convenient) in order to show my support and also because other friend's bands would generally be on the bill as well.

Thus when I first put BELT onto my iPod and played it, I was expecting "funk" but got something else entirely, which is very hard to pin down.

Some notes from BELT's press materials may illustrate this: they have been an "underground" band in Brooklyn for 10 years.  This might give rise to the presumption that they play music like, oh, say, the Dirty Projectors, TV on the Radio, Liars, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Black Dice, !!!, Fiery Furnaces, LCD Soundsystem, and Oneida--either all mish-mashed together into one sound, or like one band specifically.

However, they sound like neither.  Associating themselves with Brooklyn is therefore misleading, but one cannot say that just because one happens to be a musician that lives in a city heavily associated with a particular "scene" that has a particular "sound"  (but also, to be sure, is quite populous) one has to sound like one's peers (or heroes, as the case may be for "amateurs").  It is not fair to say to someone, "you should move to Omaha because you sound like you belong on Saddle Creek."

BELT doesn't sound like they belong on Saddle Creek, but it does inch more closely to their sound.  Perhaps this is all beating around the bush and I should just get to the point--is the album worth hearing?

I do have to say that it makes me more comfortable, as a critic, to be able to pin down a band's sound.  But the short answer is yes (if you like the bands I will be comparing them to shortly).

Unfortunately when I try to pin BELT down, the comparisons I draw will probably prove distasteful to everyone.  There is one comparison I can make with which few would complain: Wavves.  BELT sounds like Wavves to the extent that weed is amongst the primary lyrical subject matter.  This is no more apparent than on "Priorities" (the second track) and "Maria Juana" (the third), and particularly the latter, which is arguably the most professional sounding song on the album - though also the most juvenile.  Some bands (apart from Wavves) have built entire careers around writing songs about weed (the Grateful Dead and their progeny and Phish come to mind).  However I do not think it is easy to make a really great album with this template.  BELT does not attempt to do that, but at times flirts with the idea.

It is impossible to avoid mentioning the comparisons which will draw complaints, and it is easiest, unfortunately, to focus on the singer's voice to pin them down: Barenaked Ladies and Blues Traveler.

Now, it is important to put this in context.  Few Generation Y'ers will find much to like about these two bands.  They were popular when we were young.  I distinctly remember "One Week" being popular on MTV (before reality shows became de rigeur) and thinking it was a quirky, fun, creative song at first but made me want to puke by about the fifth time I heard it on the radio.  The video added more to the song I guess, though the song itself did demonstrate lyrical skill and melodic savvy.

Blues Traveler is harder for me to remember.  I remember John Popper being fat, and apparently he is no longer fat (according to my older brother, who met him a few years ago), and I am sorry to say this but I think his band is only going to be popular if he gets fat again.

Now.  My two oldest siblings are Generation X'ers (presently 42 and 39) and both liked Blues Traveler and Barenaked Ladies--and the latter way before anyone else did.  This may be going far afield but my point is that Generation X can appreciate those bands, but Generation Y generally has a negative attitude towards them, from what I can tell.

So if I say BELT sounds like those bands it's going to piss everyone off, and they'll say, we don't sound like that, and if I say, "they're a band whose time has already passed," it's going to sound like they've missed their opportunity to explode.  But it's the opposite.  If there is anytime they are primed to explode it is now.

BELT will play on Friday, October 19th, at 9 PM at Wicked Willy's as part of the CMJ Music Marathon.

Let me take a little tangent and say that I used to manage a band and I know what it is like to "produce" an "amateur" album.  I "managed" two records, or 8 songs between two bands.  Two EPs, or "demos" or whatever you want to call them.  The first one cost a few hundred bucks and seemed like it had a professional sound, recorded at a studio on North 8th St. in Williamsburg.  The second was recorded for free at NYU music studios by a friend who later joined the band after I left NYC and could not continue on as manager.  The second arguably sounds better than the first.

The point is this: sometimes when you try to sound "professional" you end up sounding more amateur than if you actually recorded it in an amateur fashion (see also, Wavves).

Disquietude was released on April 22, 2011 and is almost 18 months old. It was apparently recorded during a turbulent time and some of the songs on the album are actually a bit dark. One imagines that their sound has changed, particularly since, in the press materials, they state that their new album (which is untitled as of yet so far as I can tell) is "grittier."  Disquietude is considered to have a "pristine" sound.  Now, my stereo speakers have deteriorated quite a bit, but when I played my bands (Plastic Faces and Phosphates) through my iPod on them, or BELT through my iPod on them, both sounded extremely distorted.  This may be because the albums--all 3--are recorded loudly.  The volume is just high on the album automatically (unlike, say, My Bloody Valentine's Loveless, which is considered one of the loudest records of all time, but which is actually recorded very quietly--you really need to turn the volume up to hear it).

Getting to play a CMJ Showcase is a big deal, and I hope that BELT finds a bigger audience through it.

The album goes through many different emotions, but what remains most memorable about the band is their sense of humor.  However there is also a sense of sarcasm and darkness and pessimism about it.  It's a disquieting effect (!) and leads me to the conclusion that BELT is a "singles band" and not an "album band."  Some of the songs on the album are clearly more "worked-over" than others, and it can show.

Also, this may be a technical problem, but the song "God on the Couch" is silent, at least from the zip file I downloaded.  I do not think this is intentional.  But if it is I fail to see the point other than to make an "actual" secret song--which the last track clearly sounds like.

The last track is the best track on the album.  The ending of the first track on the album is one of its best moments, but it is a pretty standard "noise jam breakdown."  I do like the song "Are You Gonna Be OK" when it gets to the heavy part.  And I do find the lyrics across the entire album generally interesting.

The last track is three minutes long and extremely strange.  It is almost what the "Brooklyn sound" might be for this band.  It is just weird noise and feedback.  However I found it more interesting than anything else on the album because it comes out of left field: you are not expecting BELT to have an experimental side.

In conclusion, I come to no conclusion regarding BELT.  I cannot say that I will play Disquietude every single day for the next two or three weeks (as I did with, oh, Centipede Hz. (Brooklyn again!) or This is Happening) but I would be interested in seeing them live.  They would seem to be a fun live band, and though many may find the comparisons I've made to be odious ones, those bands also built their reputation on being "fun live bands."  Sometimes it takes a while to put out the album (or the single) that catapults them into stardom.  For BELT it has been 10 years.  But as far as I know, the gestation period for a band like them to hit it big is very close to 10 years (see also, The Hold Steady).

There.  You have a comparison that most people won't complain about.  Terrence B. sounds nothing like Craig Finn, and their subject matter is only arguably related, but they are both Brooklyn bands that unabashedly do not sound like Brooklyn bands.  It took a while for Craig Finn to get known, but once he did he ran with it, and while I personally may feel that The Hold Steady has declined since the departure of Franz Nicolay, they are still a band that I will pay attention to and try to see live--if they're not charging too much.

It's entirely possible that BELT's forthcoming album will be their Almost Killed Me and their album after that will be their Separation Sunday and come summer of 2014 they will be asked to play the Pitchfork Festival.  Entirely possible.

But the music industry, like most industries, is a cold one.  It is a long and harrowing climb to the top, and few can make it.  I wouldn't exactly put my money on BELT to playing Pitchfork in a couple years, but while it would certainly surprise me, it would not shock me.  They have the skill; it is only a matter of execution now.

The Man with the Golden Gun - Dir. Guy Hamilton (The Bond Project #9)

The Man with the Golden Gun (1974)

Dir: Guy Hamilton

What Happened?

By Jay Maronde

                Let me start this review by admitting this: film critics love to be critical of movies. I personally try to write about the good parts, and I also happen to really like James Bond (which I why I signed up for this task). But every once in a while you need to get a little crazy and go on and on about how wrong things really are. This being said, I do mean to keep it relatively short, because to be honest, you know a movie is pretty effin bad when the midget is the best part about it.

                Let’s start right there. The midget is the best part about this film.  Herve Villechaize is usually pretty awesome in whatever he appears in, but here, Guy Hamilton cast him perfectly as “the midget Oddjob”, referring to Harold Sakata’s role in Hamilton’s earliest Bond Film, the 1964 Blockbuster Goldfinger. “Nick Nack,” as he’s credited, has some of the most memorable roles in the film* and is the first Bond henchman to be captured. Another great casting in this film is Sir Christopher Lee as Francisco Scaramanga, the super villain million-dollar-a-hit assassin who is Bond’s arch-nemesis in the film. Scaramanga is almost always referred to as one of the best-acted Bond Villains and indeed Lee was asked to reprise the role and do the voicing for Scaramanga in the James Bond video game Rouge Agent. The rest of this film seems to spoil itself.

                Britt Ekland stars as James Bond’s personal assistant Mary Goodnight, and is possibly the dopiest secret agent ever. Ekland had wanted to be a Bond girl since she saw Dr. No, and personally I think that the producers should have cast her about a decade earlier, and then maybe she wouldn’t look so past her prime. Roger Moore is obviously also past his prime, but there’s a lot of stuntman fights to attempt to convince the public otherwise. Worse yet, the production team added parts where Bond throws a child off a boat and threatens to break Maud Adams’s arm in a very weird attempt to make Roger Moore seem like a more “rough-and-tumble” Bond. Moore claims to have hated filming these parts of the movie because he didn’t like what those actions implied upon the character of Bond and would have preferred to charm the woman instead. Maud Adams is more than delightful in this film but drastically under-cast; so under-cast, in fact, that she stars in the later James Bond film Octopussy as Octopussy herself. The only other women in the film are two hideous kung-fu-fighting sisters who save the elderly Bond during a Kung Fu Fighting scene (added in a poor attempt to capitalize on the Kung Fu movie craze at the time) and another actress playing a belly dancer who I also believe was “cast elderly” in an attempt to make Moore look younger.

                The stunt sequences were another good thing that was ruined by supposedly “genius” ideas. This film features the famous car barrel roll jump, preformed in one take only by the famous stunt man “Bumps” Willard. The stunt was also the first film stunt ever to be calculated by computer, as it had been designed at Cornell University years before as a calculation problem for a vehicle physics simulator. The stunt had been being performed for years as part of the American Motors Corporation traveling Thrill Show, but the producers went on to copyright and patent the trick so that it could never appear in another film. Now, this seems like it would be awesome right?  A James Bond car chase with a Barrel Roll, right? Well, you’d be wrong—because the music department decided to add a ridiculous whistle sound during the barrel roll, and the production team put Sheriff J.W. Pepper (who was actually an extremely popular part of Live and Let Die) in the passenger seat with James Bond for comic relief.  Even the title song is goofy as shit, a real toe-tapper, but has been described as “one long stream of smut.” The producers had originally spoken with Alice Cooper about a rock song to have the same title, and in fact his version appears on his “Muscle of Love” album, but the producers chose to use the slightly more “upbeat” version featured here and performed by LuLu.

                The real problem with this movie is the plot. James Bond is removed from duty and asked to resign because a super villain wants to kill him. Why should James Bond worry about a super villain, even if he is the world’s most expensive hitman? Bond deals with villains all the time, that’s his job—he’s James Bond. And this super villain—why, if you are the world’s best paid super villain, with your own private island, and the answer to the worlds energy crisis (this is actually the last Bond Film until Quantum Of Solace to deal with an environmental plot), and a midget to attend to your every need, why would you pay other hit men to attempt to assassinate you?

                The Production of The Man with the Golden Gun was rushed to the market to capitalize on numerous factors present in the era when it was produced: the energy crisis, the rising popularity of Kung Fu, and the popularity of the other films in the franchise. As a result, the film seems like a mish-mash of garbage strung together without much forethought. This resulted in poor ticket sales and almost a three year production delay until the next James Bond film, along with director Guy Hamilton’s dismissal from the franchise. Furthermore, the resulting financial crisis caused longtime producer Harry Saltzman to be forced to sell his half of the James Bond Franchise to United Artists pictures.

*It is unclear to me whether “Nick Nack” plays many roles or one, and so I have left the original language unedited.  - JK

Live and Let Die - Dir. Guy Hamilton (The Bond Project #8)

Live and Let Die (1973)

Dir: Guy Hamilton

Blaxploitation Bond

by

Jay Maronde

As 1973’s Live and Let Die opens we see British agents being murdered all over the world: one in New York right in the middle of the UN, one in New Orleans while watching a funeral parade, and one in the middle of a crazy voodoo ceremony on the Caribbean island of San Monique (really Jamaica, but renamed to avoid repetition of Dr. NO). After that we cut to a fantastic set of titles accompanied by the first real rock song in the James Bond franchise. “Live and Let Die” (the song) was written by Paul and Linda McCartney and performed by Wings. It is a great song, it’s featured prominently throughout the film, and it was the first Bond song to win major success on the Billboard charts, reaching #2 for several weeks. I would like to note that I hate Sir Paul, and extra-hate Wings, so for me to note the quality of this song--it’s definitely very good. It’s also worth noting that the producers spent so much money on McCartney that the only person who would take the gig to score the film was Sir George Martin, so this whole film certainly has a Beatles kinda feel to it, which is amusing considering that only a few films ago, during Goldfinger (also directed by Guy Hamilton), James Bond made a joke about how he can’t listen to The Beatles without earmuffs. Anyways, about three quarters of the way through this great song, one starts to realize that we have watched almost 20 minutes of film and we haven’t seen the main character yet. There’s a very very good reason for that
Live and Let Die is the first film to star Roger Moore as James Bond. It was big deal to have Roger Moore, as he was an incredibly successful film star, and a skilled, well-practiced actor. In fact Moore was the oldest Bond, being 45 when he first debuted. Now, let me also get this out of the way right now: Roger Moore is definitely not my favorite Bond. He’s too old. His only qualification as Bond is his Sauvé. Watching this and the other Moore films, the viewer clearly gets the gist that Bond’s best asset is his mojo, which is always impressive, and clearly critical to the role. But Moore at no point seems like the type of guy who would fist fight it out (at the very least you wouldn’t want him on your side in a fist fight, even though you would love to have him as your wingman at the bar).

The producers were very conscience of this new Bond issue. They again tried to get Sean Connery. I personally find it shocking that Connery refused, considering they offered him over 5.5 million dollars* (which would be over $100 million in today’s money), but he did refuse and again the producers were in the pickle of having to not only find a new Bond, but again transition the franchise. Many actors were considered, and among them again were Adam West and Burt Reynolds, but also Paul Newman and Robert Redford and Clint Eastwood. Eventually the decision to have a British Bond was made and Moore was cast. Sean Connery was quoted in the press as having approved the new casting and Moore announced that he would be playing his own type of Bond. Both of these things greatly helped to assuage the raucous British Press. Moore’s new Bond would drink bourbon and smoke cigars, and he would be introduced after the title sequence by perennial favorites Moneypenny and M. Q is noticeably absent in this film for the only time before the death of Desmond Llewelyn, which resulted in a calamitous uproar by fans. This led to a constant reprisal of the role by Llewelyn, which gave him the record for appearing in more films in the franchise than any other actor.

 Instead of Q giving Bond his new toys, M and Moneypenny make the delivery in an early morning visit to Bond’s home. This is the second and final time we ever see inside of Bond’s home, and as M arrives, Bond is in bed with easily one of the most beautiful Bond girls ever: the lovely Italian  Agent Caruso, radiantly played by the darling, young, shapely, doe-eyed Madeline Smith.  Miss Smith is famous for those gorgeous eyes and curves--and a longtime favorite from her appearances in horror movies around the world--but she steals the film as well as anyone could with a three-minute role.  After Moneypenny helps conceal the scantily-clad Italian agent (which made Smith uncomfortable--she noted that Moore’s overly jealous wife was always on set and “making comments”), Bond is dispatched to NYC and the Blaxploitation begins.

While New York doesn’t feature all that prominently in this film, it is definitely “James Bond does NYC.” It’s here we meet the Prime Minister of San Monique, Dr Kanaga (played famously by none other than Yophet Kotto fresh off his success from Across 110th Street) and his lovely virgin fortune-telling personal secretary Solitaire (acted--plus dubbed) by a very young and nubile Jane Seymour. This was Seymour’s first big role and the opening credits give her an “introducing” line. Again personally I think Madeline Smith is a way better Bond girl, even though Seymour was voted #10 on several lists of “10 Best Bond Girls.” In any case Bond meets up with his old pal Felix Leiter (played jovially by David Hedison, who is actually the only actor ever before Casino Royale and Quantum of Solace’s Jeffrey Wright to appear twice playing the role of Felix Leiter), but not before having a pretty sweet car scene on the FDR expressway, and then having an extensive old-time grimy Harlem adventure where he meets the films other villain, a highly pimped out crime boss named Mr. Big. All these scenes were really filmed in NYC and the mood of 1970’s NYC really shines through. Apparently while the crew was shooting in Harlem, they had to pay “protection” to a local street gang, and when the cash ran out they were “encouraged” to leave. It’s here in NYC that the Blaxploitation is most prominent, many social commentators have complained that this is in bad taste. But from a historical perspective I feel that it enriches the entire Bond franchise because it shows how adaptable the stories really are. Shortly after the Harlem scene Bond jets off to San Monique.
It’s in San Monique where we meet the franchise’s first African-American Bond Girl that Bond fornicates with, the lithe Rosie Carver (delightfully cast with Gloria Hendry, another classic Blaxploitation star) and the film’s first major allusion to the other films in the franchise with Quarrel Jr. (Quarrel Sr was Bond’s boat operator in Dr. No) After Carver turns out to be a double agent and has to die,  Bond seduces and couples with the beautiful Solitaire (causing her to lose her fortune-telling powers) by using a stacked deck of tarot cards where every card is “The Lovers” (there was also a “Bond Brand Tarot Deck” and instruction book released as part of the film’s merchandising). The two escape, and explore Kanaga’s personal “voodoo land” where he discovers what this film is all about: dope (like most almost all Blaxploitation films). There’s a helicopter chase and Bond escapes to New Orleans. In New Orleans we discover that Mr. Big and Dr. Kanaga are the same person, and that the plan is to give away two tons of heroin, grown in San Monique, for the dual purpose of driving the Mafia out of business and doubling the number of American junkies. Bond escapes a crazy alligator farm where the dope is being processed, and leads the villains on a high speed boat chase throughout the outskirts of New Orleans which happens to include a Guinness World Record setting boat jump over and into a sheriff’s car (the boat chase was made possible by a corporate sponsorship/ product placement deal between EON productions and Glastron Boats, who supplied 26 boats for the film, 17 of which were completely destroyed).
The movie speeds to an incredible conclusion as Bond travels back to San Monique, shuts down the whole operation, kills the villain (which happens to be “Film Bond’s” first political assassination), and saves Solitaire. As the movie closes Bond and Solitaire are traveling via train and in a final allusion to From Russia with Love, Bond is forced to vanquish another henchman by throwing him from a moving train window.
This movie is classic and even smooth old Roger Moore can’t bring down the fantastic sets, locations, effects, music, castings, and direction supplied by Guy Hamilton’s team. The fact that this was Hamilton’s 3rd Bond film really seems to show, as while the film is certainly no cinematic masterwork like On Her Majesty’s Secret Service, it certainly is a very fun to watch--an entry which has its ups-and-downs and sticks to the Bond “formula” well, all the while dealing with integrating yet another actor into the role.
*I am not sure whether this figure is meant to be pounds or dollars -JK

Diamonds are Forever - Dir. Guy Hamilton (The Bond Project #7)

Diamonds Are Forever (1971)

Dir: Guy Hamilton

Sean Connery is Back... 

By Jay Maronde

                Before the EON productions team had completed shooting On Her Majesty’s Secret Service, George Lazenby had already declared that he would not reprise his role as 007.  Again the producers were left with a tremendous problem of who would be the next Bond. Numerous leading players were considered again (including Adam West), as were new candidates, such as Burt Reynolds. But no one was available or fit the producer’s fancy. The studio folk loved Sean Connery in the role, and orders were given to return him to Bond at any cost. The result was a world record breaking contract that included more than £20 Million (adjusted for inflation to 2012; approximately $32.3 MM in US Dollars), and a promise to produce two movies of his choice. But Connery was back on board.

To be honest, this might be my only real complaint about this movie (which has been panned by numerous critics over the years). Connery looks a little old for the role, and almost seems a little pudgy. He still Bond, he’s still awesome, and in fact he almost seems a little colder and angrier, which clearly fits in with his role as a secret agent, but he’s definitely older and you can tell that the hard living had worn on him (reportedly Connery filmed all night, and gambled and golfed all day during all the shooting in Vegas). Other than this one complaint, I think that this movie is great fun. Everything isn’t perfect, and I can see where some hypercritical folk might denigrate the film, but it is definitely worth viewing if only for the highly amusing campy attitude the film takes with itself (which was part of the reason that some people hated it, and part of reason that it has been vindicated by history—in retrospect it doesn’t seem too campy at all—just 1970s spy movie-ish).

                I should mention now that this film doesn’t really follow the book’s plot. The book portrays a revenge on Bond by Goldfinger’s twin brother. This was going to be the plot of the movie, until one night “Cubby” Broccoli had a dream where his dear friend Howard Hughes was kidnapped and impersonated by evil villains. Cubby felt that this was a fantastic plot (which it is, especially when the villains are building a space laser out of diamonds) and spoke with his friend about making this movie essentially about him. Cast wonderfully to play the Howard Hughes character (named Willard Whyte) is None other than “Jimmy Dean Sausage” Jimmy Dean, cousin of the late, great James Dean, and at the time a casino performer in several of the real Howard Hughes’ facilities. Jimmy Dean was more than a little concerned about imitating his boss and tried to escape the role, but Hughes liked him and insisted he take the part. Hughes loved the idea of the movie being about him, and offered tremendous assistance to the production allowing them to shoot on his properties. For his fee, Hughes only asked for a personal print of the film. This was extremely beneficial to the production as too much money had been spent on Connery and there was already some talk of having to scale back the special effects.

           Another highlight of this film is the casting of the two gorgeous Bond Girls. First off these two have some of the best names in the series: Plenty O’Toole (played by Lana Wood) and Tiffany Case (played by Jill St. John). Jill St. John got her role by auditioning for the role of Plenty, but the director, Guy Hamilton, who also directed Goldfinger, decided that she was better as Tiffany Case, thereby becoming the first American born Bond Girl. Lana Wood was cast as an indirect result of her fame following an appearance in a full Playboy spread. Both women are very beautiful and also perfectly cast. Hamilton even got around Wood’s particularly short stature by having her stand on a milk crate in any scene she was in with Connery. Notable also is that Wood almost drowned while filming the scene in which Bond and Case find her dead from drowning.

The crew jumped into the pool at the last minute and saved her, but in one of those “truth being stranger than fiction moments,” the first thread of a complex web of coincidence, love, casting, and death was spun. To wit: Jill St. John is currently married to Robert Wagner, who was on the boat (with none other than later Bond Villain Christopher Walken) the night that Wood’s famous sister, and Wagner’s earlier wife, Natalie Wood, drowned. Wagner would later appear as the villain “No. 2” in Austin Powers and while it may be hard to resist speculation about the nature of human existence and the ironies that befall not only famous lives, but all properly-examined lives, it would go beyond the scope of this review.  Suffice to say, whatever strange “Hollywood herpes circle” connections might exist between these two women, they are both excellent in their roles.

            The villains are also excellently cast. In this film Bond meets and kills no less than four Blofelds (it’s quite comical that the character of Blofeld had appeared and escaped in four movies previous to this film). Obviously they aren’t all Blofeld—it’s one Blofeld and 3 of his plastic surgery borne body doubles. Cast to play all these Blofelds is Charles Grey, who had previously played a Bond ally in You Only Live Twice, and he is the best of all the Blofelds in the franchise (I should also note that this is the last film that includes any mention of Blofeld, and contains no mention of SPECTRE, as Kevin McClory’s legal battles had been successful and the Fleming estate and EON productions lost all rights to those ideas). It is slightly disconcerting to me that this actor played a Bond ally in an earlier film (and may cause a double-take in the viewer following the franchise chronologically), but his performance will erase any doubts that he is, in fact, a slick super-villain, and no longer a creepy old man.

Also in this movie are two of the most famous henchmen in the entire Bond Franchise: Mr. Kidd and Mr. Wint.  The characters (who were not in the book but created for the movie) are a pair of homosexual hand-holding assassins that snuff people out all over the world, but fail three times to kill Bond. These two provide a real sense of evil for the film. They are just hit men, but their very weird attitude towards their job and towards each other will not only creep you out, but leave you thinking about their performance for a long time to come.

Also back to reprise her Bond role is Shirley Bassey, and “Diamonds Are Forever” is easily one of my favorite Bond title songs ever! The song has been extensively sampled including for Kanye West’s “Diamonds From Sierra Leone.” Bassey’s big voice dominates the tune, which was loathed by the producers for being “too sexual.” In truth, years later Music Director John Barry would admit that he instructed Ms. Bassey to think of “penis” while recording the song. This little tidbit brought new light to the song for me, but still couldn’t change my opinion that it’s a great catchy tune with an incredible singer really belting it out.

                Director Guy Hamilton certainly did not produce another fantastic epic such as Goldfinger, but Diamonds Are Forever is nevertheless a fantastic film that stays very true to the franchise is a ton of fun to watch.  

On Her Majesty's Secret Service - Dir. Peter R. Hunt (The Bond Project #6)

On Her Majesty’s Secret Service (1969)

Dir: Peter R. Hunt
GEORGE F***ING LAZENBY!!!

By Jay Maronde

                A long time ago, in a London Towne far, far away, two men had a problem. These two men were Bond producers Harry Saltzman and Albert R. Broccoli, and their problem was that they had built one of the most successful film franchises of all time around a tremendous actor, who didn’t want to make any more movies for the franchise. The world was clamoring for another Bond, but there was no one to play the role. The next movie had already been promised, scouted, and financed. Thus, production of On Her Majesty’s Secret Service began.

Luckily for history, Peter R. Hunt had already been promised to direct the next James Bond film as part of his deal for editing You Only Live Twice. Hunt had said from the beginning that he wanted this “to be his Bond, and no one else’s” and this dedication towards creating a masterpiece served OHMSS so well that despite all of its flaw and foibles, this film is absolutely radiant and possibly saved one of cinematography’s finest franchises from an unnecessarily early demise.

                Around the same time as the aforementioned two men had their problem, there was a strapping young (only 29 years old at the time, making him by far the youngest Bond) pseudo-unemployed Australian (making him the only Bond not born and raised under Her Majesty’s Flag) actor named George Lazenby, and he also had a problem. Lazenby’s problem was that he was tired of being a used car dealer and magazine model, and that shooting television commercials wasn’t making him a rich and famous actor fast enough.

Now our first two men were auditioning all sorts of famous and or important and or talented actors for this most iconic of roles, at one point the position was even offered to Adam West, who declined, feeling that the role was best left to a Brit. Now, George Lazenby felt that he could do it, and concluded rationally that if he could be Bond, it would be the role of a lifetime. But he had almost no acting experience, so he set a little plan in motion: he would act like Bond. He bought himself a Savile Row suit, always dressed dapperly, and, on the day before his audition, even went to Sean Connery’s London barber to get the correct haircut. It was at this location where the fates took over, for also having his hair cut that very same day, was one of our two men with a problem, Albert Broccoli. Broccoli was impressed by Lazenby’s devotion to the cause and felt the he fit the part. During the audition, Lazenby accidentally punched a stuntman in the face and broke his nose, and this pretty much sealed the deal for the producers: the world had its new James Bond.

George Lazenby isn’t a bad Bond. He was, however, an incredibly inexperienced actor, and in general he was a silly young dude. He said in interviews that he had no idea how to be an actor, and was doing his best to “act” like Sean Connery. He also complained that the director Peter Hunt instructed everyone on set to leave him alone and not talk to him, because Hunt felt that it would make him a better Bond. There is a story that Telly Savalas (who is amazingly well-cast as Ernst Stavro Blofeld), once invited Lazenby to a poker game with the Teamsters and promptly cleaned him out of all his per diem money (producer Saltzman is said to have come back to the same poker game the next night, won Lazenby back all his money, and instructed Savalas “not to mess with my guy”). Lazenby also attempted to do some of his own stunts, which resulted in a broken arm, tremendously upsetting the studio and insurance folk, and setting back production for some time.

Despite all this, Lazenby overcomes. He looks the role, and any viewer can tell that he loves what he’s doing and that at all times he is giving “110%.” Lazenby may not be the greatest actor, but he certainly is not a bad Bond by any means, and his performance has so much heart that even though he may have had one of the toughest roles in history—replacing an iconic character who had been built around another iconic actor—he comes off with a shining performance and manages to continue the franchise’s success with what became one of the most popular films that year.

                Opposite this new unknown Bond, the producers knew they needed not just a big star, but a huge star. Numerous starlets from the world over were auditioned, including, but not limited to such beauties as Brigitte Bardot, Jacqueline Bisset, and Catherine Deneuve. Finally, the producers chose Dame Diana Rigg as the Countessa Teresa (Tracy) di Vincenzo, the one and only woman that Bond would ever marry.

It’s worth mentioning that Rigg has since been voted the Sexiest TV star ever by the readers of TV guide magazine (Rigg appeared prominently as Emma Peel in “The Avengers” from 1965 through 1968), and you can easily see why from this film. She oozes a very particular type of sex appeal—a skin-crawling allure that almost leaves one breathless. She stacks up as a character foil to Bond, and she even looks great showing off her “Avengers” moves, fighting it out in several scenes. Rigg’s failing is that she doesn’t sell the role as well as Lazenby.

Rumors from the set filled the British tabloids during shooting: the established Rigg loathed the newcomer Lazenby. All of the rumors, stories, etc., have since been denied by all parties involved, but if you really watch the film you can almost taste her disgust for Lazenby. She seems almost more comfortable in her scenes with Blofeld (possibly because there were extra writers brought in to jazz up those dialogues and perhaps because she just felt that much more comfortable with the old pro actor Telly Savalas). Now for an ordinary Bond girl, none of this would have been a problem: a one-night-only conquest for the Queen doesn’t need to sell her role, she needs to smile and look good. For me, however, Bond’s one and only wife should not only be somehow more beautiful, but should also seem to be truly in love with the man.

SPOILER ALERT:

She gets murdered by Blofeld & Bunt (also a delightful casting decisision—Ilse Steppat in her last film, as she died four days after the premiere). This whole love story is what makes the movie run as long as it does (the only Bond film that has a longer running time is 2006’s Casino Royale, which also has a huge love plot that consumes a lot of time). I hate this, the entire schemata of a Bond wedding seems completely cuckoo to me. The only thing I can say is that this whole thing is somewhat redeemed by the lovely scene in which she dies. According to legend, Hunt had Lazenby perform the scene twice. The first time, Lazenby came to tears, at which point Hunt promptly yelled “CUT” and informed Lazenby that “Bond does not cry.” This, however, wasn’t the only obstacle that Hunt had to overcome in his directorial debut. The whole “George Lazenby as the new Bond” thing was problematic in so many ways. Initially the producers wanted some sort of rewrite to include Bond having a plastic surgery to make himself look different and thereby elude his enemies.  Eventually that idea was scrapped, and the plan became just to run with this new Bond as though there had been no change, and to have cast regulars such as M, Q, and Moneypenny treat him just a little more special. Tie-ins to other Bond films were included. The decision was also made to make the best possible film that could be rendered; as in You Only Live Twice, no expense was spared on locations or effects.

Hunt was quoted as saying that he wanted every shot and every angle to be as interesting and as perfect as possible. The Alps give much cinematic beauty to this film as there are many sweeping shots of the resplendent scenery throughout the film. Also noteworthy is the fantastic “fast-cut”* work that really livens up the action sequences, a technique which had been developed extensively for the franchise by Hunt himself during his time as editor of the early Bond Films, but used to its fullest extent in this film.

Additionally, one of the most fantastic sets ever was acquired as the location for Blofeld’s mountaintop fortress/allergy clinic: The Piz Gloria. The Piz Gloria is a real place, the world’s first revolving restaurant on top of a mountain; it is really on top of a Swiss Alp, and really is only accessible by helicopter or cable car. In real life the place is still called Piz Gloria, not just because of the fame brought to it by this film, but also because without the film, it is questionable as to whether the building would have been completed. When the director and producers were scouting locations, they came upon the Piz Gloria (at that time only partially completed), and financing for the project had dried up. In exchange for exclusive shooting rights, the film’s producers agreed to a large cash payment and assistance in the completion of its construction.

                Peter R. Hunt could be called the real hero of this James Bond film, not just because he saw through to completion what had to be one of the most difficult Bonds to produce, not because he had to work with a completely unknown and untrained actor as his Bond, but because he clearly took the time and effort necessary to turn what would could have been the whimpering finale of the Bond series into a majestic classic which stands up against all of the other films in this classic franchise.** As for George Lazenby, he tried hard, and put in a very good performance as Bond, but alas—much like Val Kilmer in his one-time turn as Batman—he will always be remembered as the “new guy.”

*Credit must potentially be given to Jean-Luc Godard as well, for he pioneered the use of “jump cuts” in his classic 1959 debut, Breathless.

**It is perhaps worth noting that there is no title song in this Bond, ostensibly because the producers felt it would be too much like a "Gilbert and Sullivan" opera if such a long title were turned into a song lyric.  Instead, there is a musical love montage, featuring "We Have All the Time in the World" by Louis Armstrong, which would turn out to be his last recorded song. 

You Only Live Twice - Dir. Lewis Gilbert (The Bond Project #5)

You Only Live Twice (1967)

Dir: Lewis Gilbert

 

James Bond Gets Yellow Fever

by Jay Maronde

 

Every so often in the course of filmmaking history, all the aspects and fates and personalities of a particular project come together in a perfect amalgam that yields an outstanding piece of cinema that truly stands the test of time. You Only Live Twice is certainly an example of this rare occurrence. The film, while possibly not the best Bond, is nevertheless a tremendous epic and a highly entertaining Bond--which is a refreshing reprieve after all the underwater nonsense of the previous film.     

To really understand this fortuitous collaboration, one must first place certain events in their historical context. First, Bond, and spy films in general, were hugely successful and outrageously popular at this time during the 1960s, so there was a huge budget for YOLT.  Though by this point Sean Connery had expressed his desire to retire from the Bond franchise, he was essentially bribed with a contract far larger than the entire budget of Dr. No, plus a promise of 12.5% of the film's gross earnings. Second, The Cold War was steaming away, so the opportunity for Bond to literally stop World War III from breaking out betwixt the USA and USSR seemed almost too good to be true from a production stand point. Finally, the James Bond cinematic franchise was very popular in Japan, so the opportunity to shoot the movie (which would be based on a book that one screenwriter referred to as "essentially a travelogue of Japan") on location was impossible to pass up.

Which while we are on the topic of "passing up," the director Lewis Gilbert tried repeatedly to pass on directing this movie, but a personal call from producer Albert R. Broccoli, who said, "You can't give up this job. It's the largest audience in the world,” luckily changed his mind. So with production locations much more difficult to find for the next Bond in the pipeline, On Her Majesty’s Secret Service (and I should mention that certain prints of the film Thunderball contain the closing credit that: “James Bond will return in OHMSS”) the producers chose to revamp what was the last Ian Fleming James Bond novel published during Fleming’s lifetime (the rest were released posthumously), and so came the delightful You Only Live Twice.   

The making of You Only Live Twice wasn’t all plum sake and cherry blossoms though--there were definitely some obstacles to be overcome. First and foremost, the novel has little to no plot, at least not one that could appropriately serve as the basis for an epic action film. To solve this problem two separate screenwriters were brought in. First, a man named Harold Jack Bloom was given the task, and while the producers didn’t like his outcome, they used enough of his ideas to give him the “additional story material” credit. The second person was an inexperienced writer (in film, at least) and friend of Ian Fleming’s, who would go on to have tremendous literary successes of his own: Roald Dahl.

Yes, that Roald Dahl, who wrote many beloved children's novels (one of which was adapted into the cinema classic Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, and others which were made into memorable films such as The Witches, Matilda, James and the Giant Peach, and the more recent Fantastic Mr. Fox) was commissioned to write the screenplay. The novel didn’t really leave him much to work with, but the man definitely had a fantastic imagination, so he ran forward with a big, broad, epic sweeping story, which he said was the best he could do with the “formula” that he was told to work with. Personally considering the influential outcome (most notably inspiring huge parts of the Austin Powers Film series--which I was trying to avoid mentioning in these reviews--particularly Dr. Evil as an obvious parody of the fantastic performance of Donald Pleasence) of the film, I think he did a more than adequate job.

It should be noted however, that YOLT deviates from the “formula” in certain ways: Bond spends almost the entire movie in one country (Japan) and rides in a Toyota. YOLT is actually the only film in which James Bond never drives any car. Also, the car he rides in is a custom “roof-less” model, made to look like a convertible in the film, but the cars (only two of which were ever manufactured, with one currently in the James Bond Museum and one in a private collection) had to have their roofs removed for filming, not necessarily to look “cool,” but because Sean Connery was simply too large to fit in the car with the roof.  Moreover, YOLT is also the first film to deviate substantially from the original novel: the only matching elements of the stories are the characters of James Bond and Kissy Suzuki and the country of Japan. Thus, almost the entirety of the script is a result of the sheer genius of Dahl. 

Dahl wasn’t the only genius involved in this production; director Lewis Gilbert also exerts his cinematic talents to the fullest. Most notable was his work with set designer Ken Adams to achieve the fantastic look of the film. Even very early on in the film, this writing/directing/set-designing trilogy of geniuses work out all sorts of issues, like how Bond should be briefed by M and Moneypenny if he is never to step foot in Great Britain (he meets them in a unique office within a British submarine) and how he is going to receive his traditional Q branch briefing without going to their offices either. While on the Topic of Q branch, Desmond Llewelyn returns yet again to equip 007, except in a clever twist to include the gadgets (and therefore stay within the “formula”), Bond requests that “M send Little Nellie and her Father.” Little Nellie is the name the franchise gives to the Wallis Auto Gyro. This was a real, working, mini-helicopter on which Bond has one of his most memorable scenes of the entire franchise: he fights off a whole wing of angry enemy helicopters in an epic air battle that was a tremendous feat of filmmaking so essential to the rest of the production that it consumed over five hours of film and a camera person's foot, which was severed in the process.

Another outstanding part of this film is Ken Adam’s amazing volcano set, which is stormed by an army of ninjas. The volcano is the setting for the finale of the film at the evil villain’s super-secret lair (and was also the inspiration for Dr. Evil's lair in the first Austin Powers movie)--easily one of the most recognizable artifacts from this film. In real life, the volcano base, which was constructed outside of London at Pinewood Studios, was almost 150 feet tall, could be seen from 3 miles away, and really had a working heliport and monorail. Clearly without the tremendous budget allocated for this film, such an extraordinary set would not have been available to the production staff.

Many have said that You Only Live Twice was only successful because it followed the standard James Bond Formula of "girls, gadgets and action," but I would espouse that the film’s success comes from its producers following the far more classic formula of a creative script, a budget that spared no expense, a talented group of actors and production workers, and superb timing.